I did it again, I know, I know … “mea culpa, mea maxima culpa”, I will never do it again … this week … promise! I will never again write bad things about bad dead people … this week … may they rest in bad company! Period.

Today I am positive, energetic, full of … -MACHO-ZEN- … so … Time for the Ladies …

Compared with men, women are Sensitive, Smart, Handsome, Attractive, Funny, Good-Smelling … and … so PURE.
I have written this many, many times before, but I want to confess (again) that I adore women, young, old, rich, poor, ugly and beautiful.

Women are so mysterious and compelling, I can drown in their eyes.

 

For so many, many years, and even nowadays (I am over 84 years old!),  I am truly convinced that Women are able to read men’s minds …. no kidding, they are (period).

I know what you are thinking, man, believe me … I know that this is both scaring and comforting, I know … but, Hey Dude!, you can trust them blindly … believe me … I know … Relax, Bro and Enjoy Life.

For Ever your servant, Ladies,

Joey

I couple of days ago I told you that I have never met Michael Jackson. I lied, apologizes, apologizes.
I have met this ambitious fellow many times while I was performing in the US with the (late) John Turbo Band (God have mercy with his drunken soul!).

After my rather negative, even rude blog about Michael Jackson, I started to regret my negative attitude. I explored my dusty photo albums and found some interesting pictures. Please join me and let’s revive the splendor of this promising ex-talent …

Above:  this is a unique picture of Michael the first time he visited his pro-deo, plastic surgeon, his face completely covered in clay.
Note the remarkable nose!

Above: This seems to be the picture Michael gave to this plastic surgeon, saying: “I want to look like him!”

Above: I forgot who this Lady is, but I remember that she kept on talking about Michael during a special NBC edition on June 13, 2007. (Even when the camera’s were switched off and everyone had left the studios .. she kept on twittering … for the whole weekend … I heard).

Above: This is a unique self-portrait of Michael hanging in one of his Children Guest Chambers … (at this moment being offered for sail on E-bay by  J.Jackson …)

I made this picture when Michael visited me at home asking if I had any nephews interested in being VIP Guests on Never-Again-Land.

This is “Eric Baldy” (don’t know his real name); he has stalked Michael for over fifteen years, daily opening his post and milk bottles and peeing in his front garden; I like him very much. Yo, Baldy!

Above: This unique (enlarged!) picture shows the computer virus that killed Michael while he was browsing the Internet, Googling on the index terms “young nephews”. The virus seems to have been developed and launched by the CIA aiming to eliminate “all kinds of suspect pedophile predators”

Sigh …. what a loss … poor Michael … The King is dead, Long Live a New King of Pop! (Who volunteers ??)

Now, let’s end with some  POSITIVE news before I close this rather negative blog.
I heard from very, very reliable sources that the Jackson family will try to organize the planned and cancelled London performances of dead Michael.  Yippee!

The coffin of Michael will be placed in the middle of the stage (cooled of course), the embalmed body of Michael will only be visible to the first hundred of special audience rows (and, much less clear, on the huge flat screens hanging all over the MJ Pop Park).

Mama and Papa Jackson will open this Festival; they are currently practicing crying as loud and genuine as possible; let’s give them a big hand when they enter the stage and start their act! American Idols are never too young too start!

The ticket prices will vary from one hundred dollars (really bad places), till one thousand dollars (per hour). I heard that Baldy will be the host of this unique performance. During the commercials, The Jackson family will do some silly songs and children dances!

Watch DaltonCrest for more details to come!

Joey (washing his hands … and mouth … again …)

A Goldie, yes it is, but … please … just listen, watch, relax and re-think your daily sorrows … it’s all up to you … !

Hugs and Kisses ,
Joey

Part 16 of the "Legends of After-Earth

Quick reminder:
I forgot … I forgot … I FORGOT !!

Hi … relax … I am here … relax … I know you better than you will ever know yourself  … I dreamt you … not dreamt about you …. just dreamt  … YOU …, made you up, so to speak, just for fun … just kidding, nothing better to do … you are exactly what I intended you to be …
I am the Guardian Of the Desolate, Desperate ,Evil, Sneaky and Sacred ones, but you may call me  ”GODDESS”.
You are cute, Joey,one of my better inventions … let me dream you another couple of mortal days … I am so bored … so …. sleepy …

 

Be gentle to me … my mind is capricious and willing to go any way it likes … especially away from boring creatures … keep running, Joey, keep running, surprise me … keep me hooked …

Yours Sincerely.

Goddess.

Part 15 of the "Legends of After-Earth

Quick reminder:
Everyone is confused or insane, a couple of utterly unimportant characters have died, being slaughtered or blown-up by an A-Bomb, some folks are still alive and doing weird things. Joey is speeding to an unknown destination …

Listen to my Sad Story, listen and have mercy with me … please. I was cruel, oh yes, I was, but I have been punished for this severely for a too long time now. I cannot even trust my memory any more, so much time has passed, so many people I saw  coming and dying … and coming …

I was born a daughter of a Black-Smith and a Voodoo-mistress. My family was poor and we often suffered from hunger during the long icy winters.

When I became older, I noticed that I got a lot of attention from all men in the village, young boys, fathers and grand-pa’s. The older I got, the more presents were brought to my house. Men were posting under my bedroom window, playing exotic instruments and singing with weird tongues. They even had (deadly) duels to win my attention …

My parents were happy with the presents but constantly warned me: “Daughter, wait till you will find the Real One. You are very, very beautiful but so young, enjoy the attention, be nice to these men but … listen to your heart”

I didn’t.

When I became 17 years old, all guest houses in the village were full of strangers, coming from all parts of the world.
I think that I never have felt happier than in that year. I got exquisite presents, perfumes, exotic clothes, gold and uranium, magic potions and touching things like the centuries-old family bible …

Ohh ..., I wish I could redo that wonderful year, having the experience I now have … I was such an innocent child, so pure and so ….greedy …

I don’t know why, but from one day to another I started insulting men coming to please me. Many of them left me, crying bitter tears. I heard later that a couple of them took their lives just outside the village boundaries.

… He was such a cute boy with burning, black eyes and poorly dressed. “Please, Princess, take this red rose as token of my eternal love for you … I started to blush because I liked him but without any reason I toke the rose, threw it aside and said with a disrespectful tone “Is that all you have for me, boy?” I remember that when saying this cruel thing, my spirit was floating high above me … witnessing my madness …

“Very well, Lady”, the boy said with a broken voice. “"People are right, you are the Hottest Woman that ever Lived on Earth.
You deserve to live the rest of your live as Hot Flame. You will live as long as men will live and you will die when the last man on this Earth will die.” He made a bow and silently left me.

I remember that I wanted to cry and to call him to make my apologizes but it already was too late. My body transformed into a burning torch, a hot flame devastating everything it encountered …

I live in caves right now, deep in the Evil Gardens of Jackson Neverland. Wherever I go, I start flaming forest fires … every time I meet a human being, by accident, people start to scream or even die instantly … I feel so lonely … so old … so ugly … so … terribly …  At night, when I lie down, trying to catch some sleep, I remember Him …. the Prince of my Dreams …. he was so Cool … so Incredibly Cool .. he even dared to kiss me in all my burning terror and .. he smiled … he smiled, that darling … and touched my glowing hair. I am crying right now but my tears are instantaneously turning into steam.

“Cool Joey … I dream about you … every night and day … where have you gone, darling  ? Come to me! I am loosing my burning mind!!!!!

Joey