(attention: this is a kind of commercial)

Hi, I am Theo Jester from Europe and I am the world most famous ADHD patient.

What is ADHD? I hear you thinking. Good thinking! ADHV stands for All-Dings-Have-Dongs (according to my manager, Bob, and he should know because he finished high school and is a famous computer expert). Now, don't worry, the Dings and Dongs don't hurt. The only thing is that I have to keep moving and make as much noise, light and ugly smells as possible. My mother suffered from ADHD too. I have never known my father, he left one week after marrying my mother ("be back in a minute, honey").

Do you suffer from ADHD too? Take my advice: study electronics or computer technology and find yourself a good manager. After many years of hard practice I am able to produce twelve kind of drum beats with my feet. My shoes contain two separate DVD players and my hands turn and demolish old LP's at an incredible rate. People love it.

When the technicians are replacing the needles of my LP players I use my special disco light beamers. I have practiced a lot at home and in the shopping  malls. Every new performance I try to improve my record of blinding people in the audience (currently: 133 eyes).

What is the message?, I hear you sigh. Good sigh! OK: I need batteries. All these electronic thingies use a lot of power and I certainly can use fresh batteries. If you can spare some, please contact Mister J. Dalton who was so friendly to have me publish on his web site.

Have To Go To Do my Dong Now,
Theo.

Dear Friends, stay away from men called BOB . Believe me, do, please do ...

It has been over one month that I was able to use my PC, thanks to ... BOB.
I have been such a fool, I know, I know ...

The disaster started on July 15 when my neighbor Bob ("The Computer Expert") and his wife Tina visited us.

We had some drinks and enjoyed a really good time together ... until Bob asked me if he could see my PC. I should have said "ABSOLUTELY N-O-T-!"
but I uttered "Absolutely, come with me ....". I-D-I-O-T.

"Ahhhh .... Vista ..." Bob sighed when I switched on my perfectly balanced Internet machine. "I have read a lot about Vista, Joe", he said, "not only the common stuff but also about the secret pulls and triggers".

"Huh ???" I replied (I-D-I-O-T !).
"Move aside", Bob said, " I will show you some cool Vista stuff".
I gave him control over my PC ... and the trap snapped.

Within 15 minutes, my PC crashed and would not boot anymore. "No problem Joe, Vista is rocket safe, I will pick up my training material at home and I'll be back in ten minutes" ... so he was ...

Bob has been busy for twelve days, hardly eating or drinking, no sleep at all but always making "good progress" whenever I asked him about his proceedings. "Any moment now, Joe, any moment ...".

Last Friday, August 15, anno domini 2008, at 19:03 PM my PC caught fire. Bob ran out off my study in panic and yelled "Police!, Police!!, Police!!!". I went upstairs and threw my precious, melting PC out of the window ... I looked for a weapon to kill Bob but only found his stupid manuals and surrendered ...

I have bought a new PC and started to rebuild it like its unique predecessor. I have told Bob that I will cut off his ears (and nose!) whenever he even mentions my PC, phone, TV or any other electrical equipment in my house; he silently agreed and left my house backwards.

Friends, I will be back soon, like before, stronger, $540 dollar poorer but hopefully smarter than one month ago.

Hugs & Kisses,
Joey

I have been looking at this picture for more than two hours ...

The following scenes crossed my mind:

"Daddy, where are you going ?? ..."
"John, get a shave ... PLEASE !"
"John, your boss called ... you are fired."
"Mister Ball, I told you not to forget your MEDICINES!"
"Darling, how was your day?".

Hugs & Kisses,
Joey