It’s summertime ! Enjoy, relax, love each other, be careful and don’t forget me

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Hugs and Kisses,
Joey

Yesterday evening, lying on bed, drowsy from sleep and exhaustion, I watched the best movie ever made: “Sin City”. I don’t remember how many times I have seen this wonderful masterpiece. I know every dialog by heart … and every time I see this movie again, my mind quickly slips into another dimension, silently integrating in this amazing world. I am Marv … I can fly … I am a man of steel and have no fear.

Somewhere in the distance my friend Bruce, sorry, Hartigan is trying to save the life of Jessica –Nancy Halligan.  Benicio del Toro is “Jackie Boy”, the most hilarious criminal I have ever seen. Devon Aoiki is a wonderful oriental killer and Rosario Dawson plays a very impressive women gang leader.

I fell asleep before the movie ended … my mind still dwelling in this fascinating black&white&red world … I dreamt restless dreams, sinful dreams … and woke up exhausted and disoriented, not knowing where I was … who I was …

Don’t forget when you are going to rent a movie: Sin City …

Hugs and Kisses,
Joey

Yesterday was a chaotic day. The phone rang early in the afternoon, “Hello sir, I am from the Kansas City Hospital, are you mister Joey Dalton, brother of Jack Dalton?” My heart accelerated and my vision blurred … “Yes, that’s me, what’s the matter with Jack?”. ”Nothing serious mister Dalton, but you better come to the hospital right away … your brother needs you”.

I don’t know how I succeeded in getting at the hospital unharmed … after ignoring all traffic lights and making many suicide short cuts. I even shaved while driving.

Jack was nursed on the seventh floor, I took the stairways, not wanting to loose time waiting for the elevators.

Looking for Jack, a friendly nurse took me with my arm, pushed an oxygen mask over my head and made me sit down.
”Relax mister Dalton, your head looks like a huge pomegranate and we don’t want it to explode, do we?”
After some time I came to my senses. “Where is Jack???” I shouted. At the same moment my brother Averell arrived … laughing like a mad man, tears running all over his face. “Hi, bro”, he managed to say, “… did you see Master Jack? Listen … relax and enjoy …”

The story of Master Jack

Jack was a bit restless the latest months. “I am getting old … my bones hurt and I feel stiff like a wooden plank” he often complained.
”You are in the best of your years, darling”, his wife Cathrine said, “… do something about it!”.
Jack did.

The same day he downloaded a computer-aided Yoga training, turned on the volume of his PC speakers and started to do some basic Yoga exercises.

Now, Cathrine had to do some shopping and arrived home late that afternoon. As soon as she entered the house she heard heartbreaking moaning and yelling. She found Jack in an awkward position.

How hard they tried, they were not able to untangle Jack’s limbs. Cathrine decided to dial 911 …
According to the doctors Jack will be ok in one or two weeks, his muscles need to relax and that may take a lot of time.

I have bought Jack a nice souvenir, so he will always remember his first computer-aided Yoga experience:

Hugs and Kisses ,
Joey

I did it again, I know, I know … “mea culpa, mea maxima culpa”, I will never do it again … this week … promise! I will never again write bad things about bad dead people … this week … may they rest in bad company! Period.

Today I am positive, energetic, full of … -MACHO-ZEN- … so … Time for the Ladies …

Compared with men, women are Sensitive, Smart, Handsome, Attractive, Funny, Good-Smelling … and … so PURE.
I have written this many, many times before, but I want to confess (again) that I adore women, young, old, rich, poor, ugly and beautiful.

Women are so mysterious and compelling, I can drown in their eyes.

 

For so many, many years, and even nowadays (I am over 84 years old!),  I am truly convinced that Women are able to read men’s minds …. no kidding, they are (period).

I know what you are thinking, man, believe me … I know that this is both scaring and comforting, I know … but, Hey Dude!, you can trust them blindly … believe me … I know … Relax, Bro and Enjoy Life.

For Ever your servant, Ladies,

Joey

I couple of days ago I told you that I have never met Michael Jackson. I lied, apologizes, apologizes.
I have met this ambitious fellow many times while I was performing in the US with the (late) John Turbo Band (God have mercy with his drunken soul!).

After my rather negative, even rude blog about Michael Jackson, I started to regret my negative attitude. I explored my dusty photo albums and found some interesting pictures. Please join me and let’s revive the splendor of this promising ex-talent …

Above:  this is a unique picture of Michael the first time he visited his pro-deo, plastic surgeon, his face completely covered in clay.
Note the remarkable nose!

Above: This seems to be the picture Michael gave to this plastic surgeon, saying: “I want to look like him!”

Above: I forgot who this Lady is, but I remember that she kept on talking about Michael during a special NBC edition on June 13, 2007. (Even when the camera’s were switched off and everyone had left the studios .. she kept on twittering … for the whole weekend … I heard).

Above: This is a unique self-portrait of Michael hanging in one of his Children Guest Chambers … (at this moment being offered for sail on E-bay by  J.Jackson …)

I made this picture when Michael visited me at home asking if I had any nephews interested in being VIP Guests on Never-Again-Land.

This is “Eric Baldy” (don’t know his real name); he has stalked Michael for over fifteen years, daily opening his post and milk bottles and peeing in his front garden; I like him very much. Yo, Baldy!

Above: This unique (enlarged!) picture shows the computer virus that killed Michael while he was browsing the Internet, Googling on the index terms “young nephews”. The virus seems to have been developed and launched by the CIA aiming to eliminate “all kinds of suspect pedophile predators”

Sigh …. what a loss … poor Michael … The King is dead, Long Live a New King of Pop! (Who volunteers ??)

Now, let’s end with some  POSITIVE news before I close this rather negative blog.
I heard from very, very reliable sources that the Jackson family will try to organize the planned and cancelled London performances of dead Michael.  Yippee!

The coffin of Michael will be placed in the middle of the stage (cooled of course), the embalmed body of Michael will only be visible to the first hundred of special audience rows (and, much less clear, on the huge flat screens hanging all over the MJ Pop Park).

Mama and Papa Jackson will open this Festival; they are currently practicing crying as loud and genuine as possible; let’s give them a big hand when they enter the stage and start their act! American Idols are never too young too start!

The ticket prices will vary from one hundred dollars (really bad places), till one thousand dollars (per hour). I heard that Baldy will be the host of this unique performance. During the commercials, The Jackson family will do some silly songs and children dances!

Watch DaltonCrest for more details to come!

Joey (washing his hands … and mouth … again …)