Dear Friends, I AM SO ANGRY !!!    
Let me be clear: I used to love Microsoft software, really, I run Windows XP on several PC's and I use Microsoft Office for many, many years, and I like it. But: I HATE the support that Microsoft gives on Windows Live Spaces. I wasted so much time on stupid things that I have to tell you about it. This is what I posted on the Live Space Site (http://thespacecraft.spaces.live.com):

"I am so TERRIBLY ANGRY !!  Why is it so DIFFICULT to decently manage your friends information. I have about 900 friends (yeah, yeah...). When I want to find the Space address of one of them THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE.

First: you have to browse page by page , 24 persons after 24 ..... until you find the proper person.

Ok, you finally are there: found the right person (why not offer the possibility to jump to a specific page or to increase the number of persons that are displayed ????)

What now? You can click until you DIE but you will only get a list of the "FRIENDS of your FRIEND". How can I jump to the Space of that person ????

PS: did you ever try to resend an invitation to a number of invited friends? You have to be a Saint not to become mad of rage. Whenever you click too soon or too late on "invite to your friends" ... "the friends of this friend" will be displayed. When you go back (what else?), you can start at friend number ONE again.

How can I say this decently: "this software offers interesting possibilities for improvement".

In other words: THIS SOFTWARE IS SO BADLY, TERRIBLY BAD THAT IT MUST HAVE BEEN DEVELOPED BY AN ESCAPED IDIOT!

PLEASE MICOSOFT PEOPLE, HAVE IT CHECKED AND INSTALL REAL, USER FRIENDLY  SOFTWARE!

June 28 10:28 AM
(http://YO-Dalton.spaces.live.com/)

Dear Friends, I am a REBORN MAN, stronger, wittier and healthier than ever before. How come? Well, I kicked out Simon Shrimp today . I heard my wife screaming and found her being attacked by this little creep. I am maybe not so young anymore but still in good condition. I hit him on his mouth, ONCE, and saw his teeth flying allover the kitchen floor ; I hope he has a good dentist. Ahh, I feel SO GOOD !!!

Thank you again for your sympathy, you are so wonderful.

Kisses, Joey.

PS: I re-ordered my web site; do you like it? Any suggestions for improvement?

Hello Darlings, thank you so much for your sweet messages for my husband Joey. He is a lucky man having so many good friends.

I selected two movie clips that you recommended to make Joey laugh again. They are very funny. Have a look:

Sweet kisses from Mrs. D.

Hallo Folks, I am Averell, the brother of Joey. I was the one who drove Joey to the dentist some days ago. Unfortunately, we had incredibly bad luck.

Did you know that Joey hit me on my head with a car jack? I still have headaches and take aspirins on a daily basis. Do you know what happens when a car jack hits a human skull? IT HURTS !!

My home doctor told me that I suffer from a percussion. Can you imagine, a percussion inflicted by my own brother!

I never had any problem driving cars, except during my driving licence examination. At least I was able to buy a driving licence !

I am very sorry that Joey is ill, I love my young brother very much. I will prepare him a wonderful dinner tonight.

Averell, owning a decent Ford.

Dear Friends of Joey, I am Mrs. D, the wife of Joey.
Please allow me to tell you more about my sweet husband.

Joey has been under a lot of pressure lately. His brother was arrested by the police, his wine collection was plundered and he suffered from a real bad tooth ache for almost one week.

Joey has been a tough guy as long as I know him, but a couple of days ago he started listening to the songs of Lara Fabian and he mentally collapsed. He wept for hours and I was not able to cheer him up.

I like Lara's music, really, and I think that I understand what happens in Joey's head. Please, be gentile to him. Joey needs time to recover. He will tell you more later, I am sure.

PS: don't tell anyone, but I don't like this "doctor" Simon Shrimp. When he looks at me his eyes are very weird and I don't like his shrill voice and wet hands. I hope that he will cure Joey, that is most important.

Thank you so much for your sympathy,
Mrs. D.

Good Afternoon, I am Simon Shrimp (almost) PhD. Holistic Mental Therapist. Mister Joey S. Dalton is one of my (weirdest) clients and I promised him to inform you about his condition.

Well, ok, he is not all-right, let us be honest about this. He is, actually, temporarily out of order, offline (I don't know how to clarify this better to a computer audience).

As far as I can see he now needs, above all, love, attention and sympathy by his family and friends.

I have forbidden him to do ANYTHING without my approval. My message to you is: "don't be worried, trust my unique skills and expertise; Mr. Dalton will survive and come back as a reborn man, stronger, better, more handsome, healthier and with more wit than you could ever imagine". (But a lot less rich).

PS: if you live in the neighborhood of Eureka/Kansas: I have some spare time for new clients.
You can find me on the yellow pages.

Simon Shrimp, Holistic Mental Therapist First Class.

Dear Friends, thank you so much for your sympathy and advice. Where would I be without you? Yesterday, Simon Shrimp visited me, worried by my last blog. I have been very sceptical about Doctor Shrimp but I have to admit that, after all, he is a real nice and wise guy. We had long talks about my past, my parents and my childhood.

Shrimp thinks that the past is haunting me; the dark childhood times when there was no food and we had to rob passengers for a couple of cents; the many, many years I have spent in jail for ?? what ?? It is so sad, even my beautiful Mrs. D is not able to chear me up. I am going to listen to Lara Fabian again.

Wet kisses   , Joey.

Why? I don't know. I feel like living in a dream world, all motions are out-of sync and all conversations I hear are about things I do not understand. The only thought I have is: SLEEP!.

Kisses to all ... of ... you, Joe

We got the filthy wine thief! Well, Luke has caught him (I was sleeping and dreaming about strong, white teeth).

William, Pong and Luke have been on watch in the wine cellars over the last three weeks (can you imagine, only drinking expensive wine, playing cards and watching soundless TV?).

Early this morning, they trapped the %&^%& who steals our wine and pollutes the cellar walls with graffiti.

Luke got hurt during the wrestling, just before William could hit the intruder with his baseball bat. Nothing serious however, just some bone fractures and three, four stitches.

Thank God, I hope we are having some peaceful times now.
Kisses  , Joey.

PS: please remember me to bail out Jack from prison (he has phoned me so many times, I almost feel quilty).

Thank you Adriana for alerting me on this video clip of singer Lara Fabian, the Voice from Heaven. I Kept weeping for more than one hour.

Kisses, Joey.

Thank you for your sympathy, your sweet and friendly words in the last five dark days.  I finally found relief and I feel ten years younger .

The following song I would like to dedicate to YOU; You Are Wonderful, Fantastic Friends !

Kisses, Joey.

Dear Friends, my fingers tremble, my blood pressure is 120-210 and I can hardly type these words . You know me as a gentle, friendly, peaceful man. Today I have hit my brother Averell on his head with a car jack .... Yes, yes, I know that I promised to temper my anger. But listen, please:

   

Averell insisted to drive me to the dentist today. Now, Averell is a superb cook but a lousy driver. Everyone knows that, so I took some precautions. We left ten (10 !) hours too early.

The car accident occurred after 20 minutes. I told Averell: "Slow down AV, there is something on the road !". He replied: "Don't worry, BRO, only a piece of paper". He hit and killed a deer....
We hired a cheap rental car and continued our trip. Shocked but determined.

Two hours later, I warned Averell: "RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT! IDIOT!". The next moment we were balancing in a delicate position on a small bridge. The local firemen had to rescue us. Still two hours left ...

The third and final accident occurred just before we arrived at the dentist. Averell missed a curve in the road ("Oops ! Sorry ...") and I was too drunk/tired to react in time. We had to swim several miles in a dirty river and were picked-up by the same firemen as in the previous accident. They brought us home and forbade us too drive one more mile, EVER.

MY TOOTH ACHES AND I AM SO DESPERATE !!!
Joey (crying)

Dear Friends, how was your weekend? Did you have a good time?
For me this was one of the longest weekends I ever had, counting the minutes one after another, waiting for relief. Still 20 hours to go!

On the other hand, I found really wonderful music on Youtube. Maybe you know the performers (I didn't, until yesterday: Lara Fabian and Luciano Pavaroti). The music and voices are absolutely perfect, even if you don't like this genre.
If you can spare some minutes, please listen:

Kisses to all of you, Joey.

Dear Friends, time is crawling when you are having pain. My tooth ache is terrible but I have to wait till monday afternoon. In the mean time I try to kill time by listening to music and drug myself with Johny Walker and aspirin, unable to sleep and not hungry.

The last two days I have listened many times to Shakira, not the real one but the following versions. Listen, watch and enjoy:

Another amazing performance of two world famous (real) singers can be watched on the following video: Luciano Pavaroti and James Brown (Godd bless his soul). Turn up your volume, watch and surrender to this beautiful music:

Kisses, Joey.

I feel soooo.... miserable. I woke up last night with a terrible toothache. Like someone was hitting me on the head with a big iron hammer.

It is my own fault. I ate a box of doughnuts and fell asleep without brushing my teeth (idiot!).

I hate dentists and I hate their 'equipment'. I have examined my teeth several times to find the *&$$%#@ causing me this misery. I intended to pull it out myself but I could not decide which one.

So ... I have to make an appointment and SUFFER .
Wish me luck. Kisses (ouch!), Joey.

Dear, dear friends, the peaceful times seem to have ended.
My brother Jack, the ever-sleeping, dull Jack has been arrested.

Averell came along with the bad news. Since Christmas last year, Jack has dedicated himself to playing poker ("no living man can beat me", he kept saying). He has never won one game I have heard.

Last night he started a fight during a poker play, accusing another player ("Woody Ace Alien", 76 years ...) of faul play. According to the eyewitnesses Louis SailMaker and Pippy Hilton both men started a terrible fight, biting and spitting each other till they almost fainted.

The police arrested both of them. I will pick-up Jack later today, first a need a long, long nap. Please, don't call me.
Kisses  to all of you, Joey.

Did you see the latest development by Microsoft, called Microsoft Surface ? I like it so much, please have a look yourself:

Kisses, Joey.

Dear Friends, today I would like to inform you about some interesting events that occurred in my neighbourhood.

Neighbour Bud Fox, has won a price for the biggest rabbit in Kansas. Bravo, Bud and, yes, we love to come at Christmas Eve.

I received an e-mail from Santa Claus telling me he is on schedule and no-one has to worry, everything is under control. Ok, now you know.

"No, George, you are not ugly". I would recommend you, however, to find a manager and join a circus.

Our little kitties are growing and growing. I can hardly get enough of these little fellows.

Kisses to you, Joey.

I received a phone call of Linda Lotta Claire-Voyant, the famous future teller and financial expert from ABC Networks, who gave me some very valuable tips after my last blog.

She told me: "To catch a thief you have to stay cool and go straight to your goal". Ok.

"Think before you act, use your brains before you use your fists." OK.

"Study your enemy and strike at the proper moment".
Ok.

Dear Friends, I have been robbed (...). Last night, brother William and I found a lot of empty wine bottles in my cellar. We never drink this stuff ourselves (we only sell it).

We also found evidence of uninvited company: cigarette butts, a piece of chewing gum and one of the cellar walls 'decorated' with graffiti art.

We have reported this to the local police but have also taken some precautionary measures ourselves to catch these evel wine robbers and cellar polluters.

I am really angry  and will find these miserable creatures.
Kisses, Joey