(in the mean time … while Joey is catching fish in the Old City centre … and Honey having the night of her Life … not too far away …)

Looking into her iPod-44 Black-Widow cell phone, Lady Swan, follows the fish slaughtering with disgust. Yes, the quality of the streaming video signal in her swamp is not optimal, bit still, she easily monitors the massacre of her disciples with an exponentially growing feel of hate and … above all … DESPAIR!!

All my preparations for nothing! All the energy and time I spent training, no drilling (!!)  these floating whales … GONE! I hate this Joey D. Who is this ugly fellow? (Does he have two right hands???). My revenge on him will be extremely cruel …

SWANS!!!! MEEEEETINGGGGG ….. !!! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!

(Joey ;-)

Bad things never come solo. The absence of my left arm made it impossible for me to do any severe damage to these flying fishes. I think that I accidentally harpooned at least three neighbors (maybe more … one guy even waved to me when he swallowed one of my stainless steel arrows …). That was the moment that I decided to follow another strategy.

The Wallmarket Blood&Flesh&Teeth Bank gave me just enough credits to buy myself one of these fancy nano-cyber-limbs at the BodyShop (including a free installation to my body and a 10% discount ticket for future visits). To be honest, it was a real bargain … who cares that I now have two right hands … they make me extra dangerous and I can … never mind! The new arm still aches but I quickly got used to it.

An underground cab drove me to my secret suburb shelter, I whispered the magical spell to unlock the stone door, unleashed Honey and satisfied its thirst with sixteen gallons of Green Bio Fuel. One last cigarette, very carefully. I polished my famous sword, Ex-Caliber-11, set flame to Honey, and … up we went … downtown … going fishing! 

Joey.

It so treacherously promised to become a day like any day, people shouting and cursing, sirens and the smell of fire all over town. I woke up with a hammering headache … stupid me, too much AltzheimerSelzer last night … again …! How old should I become to stop drinking this magical stuff? Half awake, half dead, I stumble upon my dog lying in the corner of the kitchen; the poor fellow died of hunger it seems, (sorry old Rambo!). I open my window and throw out my faithful anti-burglar system … hopefully some poor fellow will find him and cook himself and his family a feast meal.

I very carefully try to open some innocent looking cans, bad luck, they all explode in my face … &(*&, … why did I get rid of Doggie? I wipe the blood of my face, swallow some left-over Disasperines, hit myself on the head with a rusted steel  pan, cut off my left arm, clean it carefully and bake myself a Dalton-Arm Sis kebab with garlic and tomatoes (I think).
Feeling strong again, I dress up, close my front door and go out … almost directly getting decapitated by what? What are these smelling stinkers, floating around in my beloved city?

I quickly go home again to get myself my Terminator Fishing Reel … and SwartzenEgger Harpoon Set …

Joey, one-armed and struggling for his Life with Alien Fish(?)

Currently I am in a place where the speed of Internet is "poor" at his best. It took a while before I became aware that it was NOT my laptop that was causing all these weird error messages (I even reinstalled Windows8 and IE9 four(4!) times) ... it was the local Internet connection that was causing all these problems.

I became aware of this when I noticed the locals playing the PC's in the Internet Club House: ... they clicked ONE button ... had a drink, returned and pressed another one ....

With the help of a charming translator ("wink") I was able to have a conversation with one of these youngsters, let's call him "John".

Joey: "Hi John, I am Joey, what are you doing on your PC?"

John: "Hello mister Joey I am chatting with my girl friend ..., any problems with that?"

Joey: "No John, of course not but I was wondering if you have any problems with the speed of the Internet connection?"

John: "Yes, of course, I hardly have time to have a decent drink between all these keyboard actions!"

Joey: "How is your girl friend doing, John?"

John: "Funny that you ask me right now ;-) I expect her first reaction around midnight! If you are here at that time, I will let you know. Thanks, Mister!".

The only picture I have on my laptop is this one, no relation whatever with the above post, except that finding a better one would cost me the rest of my holidays ...

Hugs and Kisses ;-),
Joey

I am the last man on Earth to answer the question about "Life".
I am so ignorant, so full of sin and uneducated, I know, I know.

However, whenever I close my eyes, sitting on my porch, while Mrs D. is keeping a secret look at me, I keep having these day-dreams, they are so vivid and so inspiring that I want to share them with you.

The ever-returning-thought I have is : " EVERYTHING TRUELY WORTHWHILE IS ABOUT TENDERNESS AND RESPECT ... NOTHING ELSE MATTERS ... NOTHING ... NOTHING..."

Only the people pure of heart will recognize this message, I think.

Joey.

Dear Friends, we all live on the same tiny planet, called "Earth" (in English). We all breath the same air, we all watch the same news channels (...) and we all share the same history of our human species.

Maybe there are some slightly different, local  appearances and flavors, but still, we are so very much alike ... but ... why don't we share the same language? What a pity and what a waste.

I have been looking for ways to communicate with you in your own language for a long time, but only today I was able to add translation buttons to my web site!

Click on your "home" country and my web site will be translated in the language of the country that you have selected.

I hope this will close the language gap between all my friends all over this splendid Blue World.

Kisses,
Joey.

PS: If your language is not selectable, please let me know and I will try to find a solution.

I know that I am no youngster anymore, even "old" when I see little children, swarming around me. But, whenever I visit my Father-in-Law I feel a little boy again ...

"Merhaba Babaci, Nasilsiniz?" ("Hello Father, How are you Doing?")

<silence ... the old man takes a nip of his mint tea ... >

"What have you been doing today, Son?" (*** all translations by Mrs D. ***)

"Well, Baba, today I have experimented with the little green man on my Windows Live web site; I like this animated GIF so much but I found out in Turkiye (!smiling!)  that it had an ugly white border around the animation. After many, many hours of exploring and trying I succeeded in removing that disturbing white border !! I feel so proud of myself, Baba".

<silence ... my father-in-law orders another fresh pot of mint (?marihuana?) tea .... and ... one hour later he speaks to me again ...>

"Joe, are you taking drugs, using the 'pipe' maybe?'... you better be honest to me, boy, I know when people are lying to me ..."

My throat felt dry, but I was able to respond to his question.
"Quaaaakkkkkk .... "(!?!)

"Ok, son, take care of my daughter ... and have a nice holidays".

"Thanks, Dad!", I was able to mumble.
In the taxi, driving back to our hotel, I suffered an attack of hyperventilation & despair.

Joey.

I have been in Turkiye many times before, but every time when I visit this wonderful country, returning  home becomes more and more difficult.
At this moment Mrs. D. and I enjoy another fabulous holidays in the land of the Gentle People, the Caring People, the Welcoming People, thank You Lord!

Since Mrs. D. and I arrived in this amazing country, every night, I fall asleep like a new-born baby, dreaming such sweet dreams, relaxing dreams, feeling young and powerful like I was so many, many years ago...

During day time, I continuously watch time passing by, so anxious to go home again, to the "real world". To be honest, I don't like that "real" world any more, I so much want to stay in Turkiye and die here,  I want  to be buried in Turkish soil with sweet Turkish Grannies weeping around my Grave and the Hot Sun shining and giving me a wink  ...

Turkiye cok severim,
Joey.

Only seconds before human mankind was at the edge of self-destruction, salvation arrived on Earth … in a FLASH … a stroke of Thunder …
The Girl with the Burning Flame appeared … first in Central Asia … next in Europe, Russia, USA …

Governments started toppling, their trembling and sweaty fingers still very close to that  Final Red Destruction Button, their minds full of hate propaganda poison, … but then …, so suddenly … coming to their senses and pleading guilt (!) to everyone willing to listen to them. All over the World people started to cry without any obvious reason, no more crimes were committed since then … criminals confessed their crimes to the local Police Officials (or anyone else willing to listen). Judges were modest in their verdicts, having mercy with their fellow humans. Food was shared with  the Hungry Ones, Wealth was shared with the Poor Ones … and all over the World People started to become ONE … sharing … and helping each other …

… and the Mysterious Girl smiled upon this funny but adoring human species, kissed them and left … in a … !!Pufff!! …

Joey.

I always have been a fan of Star Trek. I have seen most episodes and movies and know everything about Spock and Kirk.
Last night, exploring the spooky bit-torrent holes of the Internet, I secretly downloaded and watched the trailer of Star Trek Eleven (sub-titled: “Deadly Chords”),  I was pleasantly surprised. The romantic scene with T2 & Picard was very confrontational, I have to admit …

The music is fantastic (mostly classic and neo-psychotic) and the lyrics full of deep(space) mystery and ZEN wisdom. I most liked that 24-minutes scene where Spock-Junior is floating in outer space; Spock-2 knows that he is going to be swallowed by that Black-Hole 911 (“Deep throat”) and starts singing old Vulgar school songs on his way to eternity. Man, I almost peed my pants , honestly.
Although the film will be released on May 10 (29 days to go!), it already has been nominated for the Oscars 2010 Awards (… best makeup, best costumes, best music, best sub-titles, best epilogue and lest best).

A real recommendation when you are ready for a new episode in your Life! (adults only!)
Hugs & Kisses
Joey

Use your magical powers, friend, use your magic, use your experience, use your talents and your wit, you are unique and indispensable in this universe, think before you act … and let God smile onto you … listen to your HEART, my friend, YOUR HEART! …. listen … listen …. listen ….

Hugs and Kisses,
Joey

مساء امس احتفلنا 65th الزواج سنة اليوبيل أخي جاك. (نعم ، 65 سنة هي فترة طويلة ولكن لا يكاد iny - صغيرة لمحة في تاريخ الأرض الأم). أخي Averell نظمت الحزب.... (تنهد).
"عزيزي للأسرة ، ونحن جميعا على الذهاب الى السيرك الليلة!" أعلن بعد منتصف اليوم والمشروبات ، والتى بدأت فى الساعة 10:30 صباحا.
"من بينها يا جوي دالتون..." واضاف انه بعد الانتهاء من آخر كوب من بربون مكلفة.
أكره السيرك ؛ أكره أن هذه الرائحة... غبي المهرجون ، ويحاول أن يتصرف أكثر ذكاء ، ثم أنهم في الحياة اليومية...
أكره في قفص الحيوانات البرية ، ويحدث بسبب مرض جنون سجنهم ، والأهم من ذلك كله ، وأنا أكره الجمهور... سأظل أغلقت فمي الآن قبل شخص وسوف يقاضي لي.
ولكن... أريد أن أكون صادقة لك ويجب أن أعترف.... ... إضافة إلى ذلك ، يجب أن أعترف بأنني حقا يتمتع فعل البافاري السيرك العلمية الصحن الغسالات. كانت رائعة تماما. أنا لم يسمع بها من قبل (لا يعرفون حتى ما هي البلد بافاريا) ، ولكن ، يا صبي صبي ، كانت مدهشة.
في وقت لاحق من تلك الليلة ، وبعد ذلك بكثير ، في السرير ، وبدأت في الحديث عن هذا الفعل لزوجتي. افتتحت السيدة دال إلا عينها اليسرى ، ثم استدار ويتمتم "لا يجرؤون لكم ، دالتون". وأعتقد بأنني لن الممارسة في الحظيرة...
العناق والقبل ،
جوي

昨天晚上，我們慶祝了結婚65週年大慶的我的兄弟傑克。 （是的， 65歲是一個很長的時間，但幾乎沒有一個iny -微小一眼歷史上的大地母親） 。我哥哥Averell舉辦了黨的... 。 （嘆息） 。
“親愛的家庭，我們都去馬戲今晚！ ”他宣布中期以後每天喝，即上午10時30分開始。
“ ...包括你，喬伊道爾頓... ”他補充說，結束了一杯波旁昂貴。
我恨的馬戲，我討厭這個氣味...這些愚蠢的小丑，試圖表現更聰明然後他們在日常生活中...
我恨籠野生動物，他瘋了，因為他們的監禁和最重要的是，我討厭的觀眾...我將繼續我閉嘴現在擺有人會起訴我。
不過...我想向你坦白，並不得不承認... 。這...好吧，我必須承認，我真的很享受的行為巴伐利亞州馬戲科學洗碗機。他們絕對精彩。我從來沒有聽說過他們之前（甚至不知道國家是德國巴伐利亞州） ，但是，孩子啊孩子，他們是驚人的。
那天晚上，更晚，在床上，我開始談論這一行為給我的妻子。夫人4只開了左眼，轉身咕噥著“不要你敢，道爾頓！ ” 。我認為，我會實踐穀倉...
敬上，
喬伊

Biz 65. yıl Evlilik Jubilee kardeşim Jack kutlandı Dün akşam. (Evet, 65 yıl uzun bir süre ama hiç bir iny anne Earth tarihinde minik bakışta) olduğunu. Kardeşim Averell parti organize vardı .... (iç).
"Sevgili Aile, hepimiz Sirk gece olacak!" Da orta gün içecek sonra açıkladı, bu 10:30 başlatılabilir.
"... Siz de dahil olmak üzere, Joey Dalton ...", o pahalı Burbon bir bardak bitirdikten sonra sözlerine ekledi.
Ben Sirk nefret; nefret Bu koku ... Bu aptal Clowns, daha sonra da günlük hayatta olan akıllı davranmaya çalışıyorum ...
Ben, onların hapis nedeniyle kudurmak ve çoğu kafesli yaban hayvanları nefret ediyorum, ben seyirci nefret ediyorum ... benim ağız şimdi biri bana dava önce kapalı devam edecektir.
Ancak ... istediğim size dürüst olmak ve kabul etmek var .... bu ... Aslında, bu gerçekten Bavyera Eyalet Sirk Bilimsel Bulaşık washers bir hareket keyif almak gerekiyor. Bu kesinlikle harika oldu. Ben onlardan önce (yapmak bile ne ülke Bavyera), fakat oğlum Ah oğlum, bunlar şaşırtıcı olduğunu bilmiyorum duymadım vardı.
Sonra o gece, daha sonra, yatakta, ben konuşmaya başladım o hareket karım için. Bayan D. sadece onun sol gözü açılmış etrafında dönüp mumbled "değil, cesaret musunuz Dalton!". Ben, ben samanlıkta uygulama düşünüyorum ...
Hugs ve Kisses,
Joey

Yesterday evening we celebrated the 65th Years Marriage Jubilee of my brother Jack. (Yes, 65 years is a long time but hardly one heartbeat of mother Earth). My brother Averell had organized the party …. (sigh).

“Dear Family, We All Are Going to The Circus tonight!” he announced after the mid-day drinks, that started at 10:30 AM.

”… Including you, Joey Dalton …”, he added after finishing another glass of expensive bourbon.

I hate the Circus; I hate these stupid clowns, trying to insult me and my brothers …

However … I want to be honest to you and have to admit …. that … well, I have to admit that I really enjoyed the act of the Bavarian Scientific Dish Washers. They were absolutely fabulous. I had never heard of them before (don’t even know what country Bavaria is), but, boy oh boy, they were amazing.

Later that night, much later, lying in bed, I started to talk about that act to my wife. Mrs. D. only opened her left eye, turned around and mumbled “Don’t you dare, Dalton!”.  I think, that I will practice in the barn …

Hugs and Kisses,
Joey

ANKARA, Turkey (CNN) -- President Obama said Monday that the United States and Turkey can send a powerful message to the world through their friendship.

President Obama and Turkish President Abdullah Gul hold a joint news conference Monday.

"I have now spent a week traveling through Europe, and I've been asked, 'Are you trying to make a statement by ending this weeklong trip in Turkey?' And the answer is yes," Obama said during his first state visit to a Muslim nation.

Obama said he is trying to make a statement about the importance of Turkey -- "not just to the United States, but to the world."

"I think that where there's the most promise of building stronger US-Turkish relations is in the recognition that Turkey and the United States can build a model partnership in which a predominantly Christian nation, a predominantly Muslim nation -- a Western nation and a nation that straddles two continents," he continued, "that we can create a modern international community that is respectful, that is secure, that is prosperous, that there are not tensions -- inevitable tensions between cultures -- which I think is extraordinarily important."

Obama said "one of the great strengths of the United States" is that it does not consider itself "a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values. I think modern Turkey was founded with a similar set of principles."

I know both the USA and Turkey (Turkey) rather well. I admire the inhabitants of both states, I admire their friendliness, their seek for freedom and happiness, their humor and their hospitality. I admire President Obama and sincerely hope that, with his wit, willpower and charisma, he will be able to ‘defrost’ the hearts of the so-called “hard-liners”,  convince them that there is a way to peace, to respect and to growth. The moment for change is NOW! Use your power to realize a better world, for you, for me and, above all, for our children and grand-children..

East Meets West … What a wonderful and fruitful Cooperation. Let There Be Hope !

Hugs and Kisses
Joey

Hi, I am Scary Face the Frog-father living in the pond of that miserable Dalton clan.

Don’t ask me how I am able to communicate with you … better ask my son, Conflicker-911 who is a real IT Wizard and has launched more worm attacks than you can imagine.

 
My message is only for that bearded cowboy, that Joey Dalton person, with his ugly smile., poking in my pond with a stick whenever he likes, shouting to his wife “Honey these little green bastards are making a real fun again!" 

Hey dude, leave us alone! Yeah, yeah, we have shitted this pond … so what ??? This is OUR pond and we don’t need you or one of these retarded brothers of yours fooling around with sticks or tree branches or .. whatever …

Don’t underestimate us fellow, we are capable of things you have never dreamt of …. !
(ever wondered who triggered that “financial crises” …. ???)

Stay Away and keep doing your unimportant human thingies in your own house.
This is an offer you cannot refuse.!

The Frog-father.