Dear Ladies, Sweet friends, how are you doing?

Thanks to Guppy I have recovered quit well from the explosion in my kitchen. Mrs D. was very upset about my bald head (I used to have strong, sturdy hair and she liked to play with it).

Reason for me to find a good wig. I drove to Kansas City, to visit the "better" shops. I was not very amused about what these people tried to sell me.

I decided to wait till my hair will grow again and my beautiful, masculine head will be like before.

Kisses to you all, Joey.

PS: Please remind me to get Averell out of the old apple tree!

Lovely Ladies, Sweet Friends. I am so unhappy. It has been a while since a posted a blog, excuses but terrible things have happened to me and my family.

Remember I was working in my kitchen, doing some nice home improvement? Well, Averell and I had done a terrific job. The kitchen looked like a palace, new hardware, even some expensive paintings on the wall. We were so proud and so hungry after one week of hard labor.

When Averell proposed to make scrambles eggs in the new kitchen I fully agreed; I could have eaten a scrambled pig.

When the food was almost done it happened ... Probably we had not properly connected the gas pipes to the new stove.

I remember a ball of fire, a total silence and then total darkness.

When I woke up, I was deaf, my eyebrows and hair were gone (burned) and I was lying in the living room. Averell had been blown into the garden and was hanging in the old apple tree, the pan with some scrambled eggs still in his hand.

I am so emotional, I can hardly continue. We even had a guest in our house when the disaster happened (an insurance man, trying to raise our fire insurance).

Hope you are doing a lot better than we do.
Kisses by Joey (bald and without eyebrows).

Hi there, Jack here. Jack, the Thinker, Jack the Philosopher, Jack the Ultimate Detective. The Man Who Found Kidnapped Brother.

If you would ask me why I did not post before I would have said: "busy with the media". I was guest at David Letterman, Jay Leno and Ophra Winfrey. You must have seen me at the tele.

Many people asked me the reason behind my cleverness and success. I always answer the same: "relax your body and mind as often and as deep as possible". Only when you are in a state of total relaxation, your mind will work as it best and you will find the ultimate answers. Guaranteed.

A wise guru, Master Shrimp, once taught me the best way of relaxing . It is brilliant but I won't explain how, because Shrimp is still practicing and needs new patients, but, believe me, the man is 1000 years ahead of his time.

You can easily contact Shrimp via the Internet (www.the_totally_relaxed_mind_according_to_master_shrimp.nu).

Have to go now, time for some deep thinking.
Regards and Keep Thinking, Jack.

Dear Friends, this morning I have asked Joey to do some home improvements. He did not protest and is still working in the kitchen, singing loudly and making a lot of noise with his electrical tools.

Let me tell you about a wonderful book that I have read many, many times when I was a teenager: The Stories of 1001 Nights.

Maybe you know that I was born in the far East. This book tells about ancient times in the East when Men still thought they were superior to Women and life was Magical, Cruel and Exotic.

I tremendously enjoyed the stories of Queen Sheherezade and her future husband Shahryār. I admired her beauty and her courage and enjoyed the underlying romance and tension.

If you go to the library or rent a video, please have a look and decide for yourself.

Kisses and sweet nights, Mrs. D.

Sweet Ladies, today I would like to share with you some of the fan mail I received last week when I didn't feel too well.

Harry wrote:
"Hi Joey, I am a hat lover too. I also design them and sell them via Internet. If you are interested .... etc etc etc ...

George wrote:
"Hallo Big Guy, if you are in the mood for some real adventure, contact me .... etc etc etc ...

Name unknown:
"Joey, I like you spaze u lot. Evry day I enjoj reading you stories and have too laaf so much. Keep up the good work, man! "

Suzie wrote this:
"My Dear, I know you are a fishnet lover, don't try to suppress this, be honest to yourself. I have a wonderful collection of fish nets in my wardrobe. Interested? Call me under .... "

Willeke (?) says:
"Joey, where are you?, I am waiting so long now and the guests become restless ...."

I love my friends ! Kisses, Joey.

Sweet Ladies, how are you doing today? I feel slightly better and spent the whole day listening to music, drinking Jim Bean and doing nothing, just relaxing and recovering .

One of my favorite musicians is Roy Orbison. Thank you, Carla, for attending me on this wonderful clip. I have watched it many, many times today and enjoyed it enormously.

If you run the movie, look carefully. You will see the following famous gentlemen (most of them terribly young):

(Roy Orbison, Tom Waits, Elvis Costello and Bruce Springsteen)

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I also would like to thank Hank for his tip to have a look at the following "promising actors". Ladies, if you see them in real life, be gentle with them and give them a lollipop:

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Kisses, Joey.

Sweet Ladies, I am hot, real hot. I am so hot, that steam is coming out-off my ears; you can bake an egg on my belly.

I have FEVER . If my house would have had fire alarms, they would go off when I walk by.

I also seem to have infected my wife and family. Mrs D is sleeping the whole day and even Doggie is feeling terribly.

I only eat fruit and drink herbal teas (recommended by my friend Ping). Strange, but I feel not too bad, even pleasant sometimes.

Ooops, I inflamed the curtains in the kitchen! Have to go now.
Very hot kisses from Joey.

Sweet Ladies, I am still under the influence of the influenza. My nights are short and my nose feels like a big, juicy melon.

When I woke up, at 4:30 AM (!), I studied my nose in the mirror; I have never been aware that a nose is such a strange part of the human body. Especially when it is swollen, red and dripping.

    

Now, my brother Averell has a giant "inhaler" but when I look on the Internet I find many more interesting examples.

I hope your nose is ok. Be nice to it.

Kisses, Joey (from a safe distant).

Sweet Ladies, how are you doing?

I have an annoying influenza. My ears sing, my nose is imitating Niagara Falls, my head feels like a big clock and all my muscles ache.

  

Bad luck. Outside it is sunny but freezing cold. I made a short walk this morning but after half an hour I became afraid that my nose and ears would fell off my head and returned home quickly.

My dear family tries to avoid me when I walk around the house. Mrs D, my own wife, married with me over 20 years (!), has made a necklace of garlic and wears this around her neck. When I try to kiss her she sticks a wooden Cross before my face and shouts "Away Dalton, off you go !". I almost have to cry.

Even Doggie, my best friend Doggie, growls at me ... can you imagine? I feel so lonely .

Please eat vitamins and stay in bed.
Kisses, Joey (be careful!)

Sweet Ladies , I received a lovely letter (e-mail) from a friend in the far East. I cannot type her name because I have not a proper keyboard, so I will call her "Moon".

Moon writes:
"Dear Joey, why did you choose to play guitar?"

May I answer with the following movie; turn on the volume, close your eyes and dream away:

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For the younger ones, the same theme but now in a more modern performance:

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If you do not understand my answer, I cannot explain with words.

Love you all, kisses, Joey.

Sweet friends, I have done some interesting research about Shrimp (my psychiatrist). I stumbled upon the web site of Professor Knuth; Shrimp is one of his old students.

I called Knuth and had an interesting conversation about Shrimp. The man has no diploma but still is practicing as doctor; many patients have sued him because of the mental damage he has afflicted them by his idiot therapies. Just a few examples:

Patient Ben had to wear a paper bag over his head for one week (to teach him to ignore other people).

Patient Mister Sozo got electro-shocks in order to conquer his fear for flying.

Patient Maurizio was drugged with experimental medicines and has never recovered.

Patient Alicia got hypno-therapy for over four years and ... well, have a look. 

I am going to strangle this creep.
Kisses, Joey.

Hello, I am Wilma; I am the girl friend of William Dalton.
I have brown hair with a stroke of gray, blue eyes and I like sport, reading detectives and watching crime movies. I am 76 years young and 5 feet tall/short.

This is the first time I post on Joey's space. In fact, it is the first time that I use a computer.

My favorite hero is Peter Sellers; I adore him. He was such a good detective and such a good musician at the same time. This combination is rare in one person.

Now, let me share a secret with you, I suspect William to have another girl friend. He denies, of course, but I feel that I am right.

I will study Peter's techniques to shadow William and to find out the truth.

Wish me luck,
Wilma.