What will the New Year bring us? War? Peace? Unemployment? Hunger? Death? Prosperity? What?
I do not have a crystal ball to tell you the future but allow me to comment some of the most recent developments in the world (hey, after all,  I am a granny wit ‘a lot of experience!’)

Whenever you watch the news, big chance you are becoming troubled, even depressed by the latest developments.
Every minute you hear talking about  the “Financial Crisis!”

Please, Dear Friend ….., take a deeeeeeeep breath,  before further reading. Think …. Relax …. Think ….
Now, have a look at  yourself watching the news …

What is the real bad message? Unemployment? Yes, probably. Hunger? Not very likely. Death? Why??
Let’s have another look at these disasters, a position  you hardly see on the news …

Big News: The American Automobile Industry Will Collapse!!!
So what? Who are the big polluters and (co-)responsible for the dramatic weather changes all over the world? Ever been stuck in a traffic jam? Ever met a person who died on lung cancer or by a traffic accident?
Let’s welcome this new development! What we need are transportation facilities that do not harm the environment, that do not kill people!

Big News:  Newspaper Publishers might fire thousands of people because selling have dropped dramatically.
So what? Do you know how many trees are cut , DAILY!, because of these stupid newspapers? Who needs a paper print of news that can also be viewed electronically ? Ever heard about  INTERNET?

Big News: Another Prestigious Bank might collapse …
So what?  Who was on charge of this ‘famous’ institution and why did (so)he do such a lousy job??  Theft and greed are crimes!

Big News: The government needs to spend another X billions  to boost the economy.
So what? The intrinsic value of a one hundred dollar billet is less than one cent. The only things giving “value” to this stupid piece of paper are ‘agreements’ made by ignorant people, like you and me.  (“Ok mister, I will work for you 60 hours a week, when you give me five of those green papers with ‘one-hundred-dollars’ printed on it..”)

Big News: the weapon industry is very worried about the plans of coming President Obama to stop the war in Iraq. Thousands of True American Jobs are in Severe Danger!
Do I need to say something?   Sweet Lord, have mercy with us…

Enough.
Next time you hear ‘bad news’, think about the other side of it …

Be aware that we do not have a financial crisis but above all an environmental crisis.
No doubt, we can and will survive any financial crisis but whenever we extinct a species on Earth, we cannot undo this deed:  EVER!
Maybe you don’t really care, but our children will suffer the consequences.
Mother Earth always has been strong but from the moment we started injuring and attacking Her (about one hundred years ago), we are in a Really Deep Deathly Crisis!

 

Have a Truly Wonderful 2009!
I wish You and Your Children a Healthy Future, respecting Each Other and Mother Nature!
Joey.

I have been away this week serving jury duty. It was not the first time in my life but it certainly was the most weird one. The case has been closed so I am free to tell you all the ugly details.

Guard: “Everybody RISE for judge Dread …; no eating, no smoking, no snoring in this room!”

Judge Dread: “Mister Simon, you are accused of hijacking a bus transporting twenty eight passengers. How do you plead?”

Simon: “I am innocent, your highness!”

 

Judge Dread: “Mister Simon, there are twenty eight witnesses in this court, not counting the bus driver who was released from hospital this morning and cannot remember anything about what has happened.”

“STINKER!”  <shouting from the public>

Simon: “IDIOTS!”

Judge Dread: “ORDER IN MY COURT!” Is it true, mister Simon, that you were on that bus when ‘the incident’ took place and, is it true that during that incident all passengers fainted and the bus driver fell from his seat?”

Simon: “Yeaah …. I think they did.”

Judge Dread: “What have you done, mister Simon, what chemicals did you use?”

Simon: “I just farted, your highness …”

Judge Dread: “Just farted …. <sigh>. I have talked with your wife and son before this sitting. They seem not to be very happy with your farting, mister Simon.”

Simon: “They still love me!”

Judge Dread: “You do know, mister Simon that your wife lives in a septic tank in your back yard?”

Simon: “Yes, she very much values her privacy."

Judge Dread: “What did you …., what is that smell??…., GUARDS, EVACUATE THIS …

<…. black space, sirens in the distance, alarm bells and running foot steps … someone carrying me …>

I came to my senses in an ambulance; Simon is still on the run, watch out, this fellow is dangerous.

Joey.

Are you desperate because of your weight? Did you try everything to become thinner?
Stop searching, relax, I have five tips for you:

(1) Simplify your outfit
No-one cares about your bald head ! Get rid if that stupid helmet and let the wind blow over your naked skull!

(2) Buy yourself a wireless phone
These wired phones were fancy in the Middle Ages, come on, we live in the wireless century now!

(3) Stop carrying your husband to his work
Let him take a bus, taxi, bike, whatever but STOP carrying this lazy bum to his work! If he refuses, drop him on his head!

(4) Stop being the cornerstone of your family or company or .... whatever
Once you agree to be a pillar or cornerstone, people will keep climbing onto your back until you succumb. Step away and enjoy the pyramid collapsing.

(5) Stop Worrying

Stop trying to solve the world problems; no-one can, we all are too stupid and too selfish to do this.
Take your Personal Globe, wrap it up in a fancy paper and give it to someone you don't like very much.

Have a lightweight 2009!
Joey.

Ringggg ....
Ringgggggggggg .......
RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ....

"Yeahhhh ...., Joey speaking, ...., what do you want ???"
"Mister Dalton, I assume?"
"Yes, what do you want, buddy?"
"Do I speak with mister JOEY Dalton?"
"I told you .... yes!"
"May I call you Joey, mister Dalton?"
"No you may NOT!."

<strange sound>

"Mister Dalton, CONGRATULATIONS ..... !!!"



"How much, son?"
"... uhhh ...., what do you mean, Sir?"
"How much money did I win?"
"Ahhh, well, this is indeed YOUR LUCKY DAY, JOEY!!!"
<terrible noise in the background>



"MISTER DALTON, PLEASE!"
"Sorry, sir, ... mister Dalton."
"What is your name, sonny?"
"I am George, Mister Dalton ..."
"How much, George? How much did I win??"
"Uhhhh ... welll ... uhhhh ... I ........."

<click>

"I really LOVE these weekend calls ..."

Hugs & Kisses!
Joey.

Today I heard on the news that German and American scientists have proven the existence of a massive black hole in the heart of our Galaxy.

Well, well, ... I am not a scientist but let me tell you: there are HUNDREDS of black holes in our galaxy and .... they all are on my Windows Live Space web site.

If you don't believe me, scroll down this page and look at my articles posted before the famous Live upgrade last week. There are many more black holes in my archive in case you are interested.

"How come?", I hear you say. The reason is that all these black holes represent pictures that I have published in my articles, and all these pictures are stored in a photo album that is only accessible by me. There is no way to open this album for you. The Windows Live Project Team is working on this and might come with a solution in a new Live Wave upgrade (...).

Yeahhh ... security settings of files always has been a kind of rocket science.

Take Care!
Joey (Amateur Astronomer)

Earlier this week, the names of about 500 friends disappeared from my friend list. Ok, small mistake of the Windows Live Team; will be corrected before Christmas. Since today all the pictures that I have posted in the past are inaccessible. I have sent a call for help to Microsoft.

I am going to work in my garden for the rest of the week.
I wish you a wonderful week(end)!

Joey.

The last couple of weeks my PC is responding slower and slower, I see many flickering led's and hear ventilators and drives work very hard. I have wondered so many times what is happening in my PC but ... this morning I suddenly had a crazy idea. I borrowed a stethoscope from Guppy and carefully put it on my computer cabinet .... I concentrated ... concentrated ... kicked-out my dog ....  concentrated .... and ....

[AV] ".... what a mess again today, I have slept very badly and look ... I am making double hours again ... Ouch!! that was a mean one, I caught him just when he thought to be safe, the little creep!"

[AS] "... don't whine AV, do a better job, I have to clean up all the mess you leave for me ... BAMMM!!! HAHH! another spy gone to Nirvana!"

[AV] "Sorry, AS, he looked like a normal CEO guy ... next time I will be more alert (maybe I should update my training material). Hey, AS ... I was thinking, shouldn't this creep have been intercepted by the man at the gate???"

[AV] "Hey!, man at the gate, everything OK ?? .... H-E-L-L-OOOOOO..."

[FW] "Zzzzzzzz .......Zzzzzzzz ..... Zzzzz  .... ohhhh, yeah, darling ...... Zzzzz ...."

[AV] "IDIOT!"

[AS] "Man at the gate, you will be SHOT at dawn! A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N !! EN-GUARD!!!"

[FW] "Zzzzzzz ..... ohhh, yeah .... ohh, yeah ...."

[BD] <beep!> "This is your bus driver, we are entering an area of serious turbulence, please, go to your seat and fasten your seat belts ... it is going to be tough, fellows ! ...." </beep!>

[AV] "Take another road, bus driver! I am becoming SICK!"

[FW] "I like that, Baby, go on ... YEAHHHH..."

[AS] "SHUT UP, I cannot concentrate on my work ! BAMMM!! GOT YOU !!"

[BD] "CLOSE THE DOORS!!!"

[FW] ".... OH YEAHHHHH, close them darling, close them ...."

[AV] "Bus driver, do something, we all will catch a cold!"

[BD] "OHHH NOOOOOOO .... NETWORK JAM .... HOLD ON!!!!!! I HOPE MY BRAKES WILL HOLD......"

[FW] "Don't stop now darling, go on, go on, please ...."

[SS] "Hello guys, I see that everyone is busy with his own business ... allow me to clean the windows in your precious idle time...., will take just a minute ... just hit me on my helmet and I will stop (IDIOTS!!GRRRRRR)"

[BD] "You can relax now, we are standing still; we will open the mini-bar in about 3 hours."

At that moment my PC completely stopped responding, no more voices, nothing ... silence ...
Maybe I need to install extra software.
Enjoy your weekend!

Joey

[AV] = Antivirus
[AS] = Anti-Spyware
[FW] = Firewall
[BD] = Bus driver
[SS] = Screen Saver

MicroStuff have upgraded Windows Live Spaces mid-week. The new functionality is 100% identical to the old one but ... I lost about five-hundred friends ....  sighh ....
Via telephone, SMS and email contacts I have received many reactions from these friends, asking me:
"Joey, where are you ?!?"

I have contacted my spy at MicroStuff who attended me on the following article published by the Windows We-Are-Still-Alive!! Team (managed by "Lazy" Bob Dull):

"Why don’t some of my friends are show up in my network?

"A very small number of people (about 3 billion, worldwide <Joey>) are affected by this issue, which will be fixed in the near future (probably around Christmas 2010 <Joey>). As part of our update we are running a migration job on everyone’s friends list. If you added someone to your friends list between November 20th and December 2nd it is possible (read: most likely <Joey>) that that person will not show up in your network. We are completing our friends list migration by December 15th (the best joke of this year <Joey>),  and at that time any missing friends should be back in the list of people in your network..."

I have sent a private message to chief Steve Balmer asking hime to check the quality procedures at MicroStuff. Be patient, Steve will take care of this (and chop of the head of Bob).

Joey.