Dear Loved Ones, how I missed you the last ten days. What a relief to be back again in good health. My life has been turned-over. Everyone wants to see me or interview me but for now I want to be with my family and rest.

I wish you all the best for 2007 and the years after. I hope we will continue our friendship and, above all, have FUN !

Kisses to all of you,  Joey.

 

 

Dear Friends, Joey has safely returned home again !!.
We are not allowed to give you any details but many thanks to the people of the NASA and the brave crew of the Shuttle.

The rescue was spectacular; Warner Brothers directly started preparing a new movie; titled "Chusma and Joey; the Real Story".
We are overwhelmed by the many emotional reactions you gave us, from all over the world. Even the alien crew was extremely happy when Joey left their ship.

Please join us in our happiness.
The Dalton Family.

The tension is growing and becoming almost unbearable. The power supply of our house was insufficient to feed all those fancy equipment installed by the scientists. A small nuclear fusion engine has been delivered by a big helicopter and is buzzing now with an unpleasant humming tone; it smells like ozone.

I had to promise not to tell you anything about this but I still do: earlier today the NASA secretly launched a space Shuttle.
Guess why ....

The members of the X-team here behave like mad men; they seem to have made contact with a non-terrestrial species. The alien spokes(wo)man is called "Chusma" or something like that.

Discussions are going slowly, the computers try to translate as good as possible. As long as no weapons are used I don't mind.
I want my Joey back without any holes or bruises.

Please keep your fingers crossed and wish us luck.
Mrs. D

Hello Dears, this is Mrs D, Joey's wife. Everyone in and around my house seems to be totally out of his mind. They ran, they shout, they stare into the sky and build all kind of weird city machines on my porch.

Jack seems to be the focus of their discussions; I have never seen him awake for such a long time.

I hope they will find Joey soon now; I miss him terribly. I feel so sorry that I hit him with my pin roll so many times when we had fights about ... well, nothing, now I think about it. I feel so guilty.

I would also like to apologize to you in case I have insulted or offended you; I will never do that again.

Have to go now, Averell is outside, shouting my name and wildly pointing into the air .... bye now.

Mrs D.

When lightning struck last night, I suddenly knew what has happened with Joey.

These Gully & Mully couple, or whatever their names are, have been looking everywhere, except ... UP.

I am really brilliant; the only way Joey can have left us without any trace is upwards. He is not dead (no body) so someone must have lifted him or beamed-him-up. 

A number of FBI agents are lying outside the house now on their backs, staring into the blue sky. Some with binoculars, some with weird glasses and instruments which I have never seen before.

I will continue with my contemplations!
Jack, the thinker.

Good day to you all. I am Jack, Dalton number three.
I know that Joey has mentioned my name several times in his articles and every time I was sleeping .... he said.

This is not true; I am a quiet man and I like to think about the mysteries of life. I found out that thinking is easier when you close your eyes and relax your body. Even more effective is producing the sound of White Orkas playing in the ocean; less educated people call these sounds snoring. Let them.

Since Joey's disappearance I try to solve that mystery too; I know I am getting closer every day.

These Skully and Muller agents are doing all kind of mysterious things in and around the house; they pretend to write scientific reports but I secretly read some and they only write pages full with "X"-es. Scientists !

I am going to sit down again and reflect upon my latest conclusions. Please don't disturb me for the rest of the day.

Jack (to the right).

Rewards:

• Signature and kiss of Greta Skully or Heinz Muller;
• Free tattoo on any bodypart in The Needleshop;
• Free ticket for the Jerry Springer Show;
• Free Diner in Billies Beef Bunker (no drinks);

Everything is fine, no worries. We have fifty agents working on this case; go home and sleep well.

FBI Agents Prof. Dr. Dr. Greta Skully and Heinz Muller (PhB).

Joey, this is your wife. Where are you, Dalton ??? If I hear that you visited one of your friends, I will tie you AGAIN to your horse and let him run around the farm for half a day; that is a promise!

If you are at at lady I will do the same but after having remodeled your head with my rolling pin.

Please come home, darling, I miss you so much!!!!!!.

I will give your keyboard to Av again because I do not know how to turn off this machine.

Hello everyone, this is Averell again, remember me?

Joey has disappeared last night. Around 2:00 AM he went to the bathroom and when we woke up, he was gone. His wife is very concerned. All his stuff is here, his wallet, his clothes, doggie is here and Joey's horse is in the stable. We have informed the police but waiting is so difficult.

If you have seen someone, looking like Willie Nelson (our nephew) only more handsome, more muscles and probably with a guitar, please let us know. Send a message to: YO_Dalton@hotmail.com, our neighbor (Computer Bob) cracked his account (with a hammer!)  and now we can read every e-mail sent to Joey.

Thank you,
Averell.

It's me, Averell, the brother of Joey.

Joey is still in his bed. He awoke this afternoon, took a shower, drunk a pot of coffee, ate some scrambled eggs with red beans "Francoise a Verell" and went to bed again.

The only thing he said to me was "Hi, Bro", giving me a high-five.

I do not know what to do. My new girlfriend wants to know why I am fooling around with all these nice looking ladies on Joey's PC ("what's up, Av???"). I could not explain very well.

I have put a picture of my love, made during our discussion about you today, under this text. ("I really love you honey!")

In my photo gallery you will find more tips about cooking (again, I know but I have to see Muriel).

Bye Bye,
Averell

Hallo you there, I am Averell, the brother of my brother Joey. Joey is not here, he is in bed, sleeping. I am Averell and today I want to tell you about my hobby now my brother Joey is sleeping in his bed.

I am Averell and I like cooking. I cook a lot and I cook everything I like. If I like something then I can cook it.

My brother Joey told me how to publish nice pictures (he is sleeping and snoring like a deaf mule). You can see the pictures when you look a little bit to the right. If not, better send an email to Joey, he will fix it later this week.

I am a big fan of Gordon Ramsay; I like his food and I like the way he threatens people who cannot cook (I always kick them out of my kitchen).

PS: Joey is OKAY but he keeps on sleeping.

Bye,
Averell.

My headache is gone since I use my new spectacles; what a relief, although I look like Elton John.

But now I feel so immensely sleepy, sooooo sleeeepy, the whole day. When I sit down I fall into a black pit and dream weird dreams (about being Elvis trying to become the governor of California, for example).

My wife asked me several times today to stop SNORING but I do not even know that I am sleeping ! I re-read my personal advice about snoring partners (see my post of November 10, 2006) but decided to ignore it.

I just managed to put some fresh wood into the fireplace and collapsed in my favorite chair. I am too lazy to get myself a proper fireplace drink and stare into the flames.

There was something really exciting to tell you but .......

Yesterday I visited my home doctor because the headache did stay. He examined me and came with a shocking diagnosis:
I Need Reading Glasses.

Now I still am I young fellow, yes 82 years, but I still have all my teeth and afraid of nobody. My hair is mostly grey but, hey, I still have them all (I counted them this morning).

Using reading glasses is a kind of defeat. However, I need them when I use my computer. That is also part of the reason that I made so many typo's in my daily blogs (partly, yes, I am not a good writer, I fully admit).

I wanted to postpone selling the glasses but my wife kicked me out of the house and promised me not to let me in again without glasses.

After three hours of trying and retrying, I have bought a pair but I won't show them to you; I really look ridiculous wearing them. Better have a look at my photos today.

Love You All, Joey (seeing clearly again ).

Dear girl friends. Excuse me, but today I have a wonderful headache .

I cannot see straight and think clearly. Probably the whisky I drunk last evening (home made by my friend Luther; thanks, buddy!).

Outside, it is chilly, dark and stormy; a good time to be at home. Thank God, I don't have to go to my work anymore. (Although ... I never have done that in my entire life).

My eldest brother Averell is coming to stay for a couple of days with his new lady; I love this guy so much, almost as much as I do love my wife, but differently, of course.

I hope you are all OK, healthy, happy and loving your family.

Kisses from Joey.

Dear students, the last English lesson of this week.

The word I want to teach you today is: FOOD. After MAN and WOMAN, FOOD is the most important word you need. If you know how and when to use all three words, you can already have a nice chat with an English speaker.

What is food? Food is what you put into your mouth; well, what most people put into their mouths. Every country has its own special food, study the pictures and find the differences.

Read this carefully: FOOD is something different from FOOT !
In principle you can fill any shoe with food (with enough creativity) but the best way to fill a shoe is with a foot. 

Another example: Food can give you a kick but a foot too. Most people prefer a kick by food and not by a foot (although this is highly personal).

Like "womans" (lesson 2), the word "foots" is not correct. Remember what vowel English people prefer ? Yes, the "e", so, not foots but FEETS and not "foods" but FEEDS ("she feeds her baby").  Understanding this would be a remarkable FEAT.

Good luck , enjoy your FOOD and wash your FEETS before sleeping.

Love, Master Joey (going to feed himself a glass of Whisky)

Dear students, I hope you have studied your first lesson well?
Today I will teach you a word that is more difficult than "Man". This word is "Woman". Please study this word carefully.

Now, a woman is not a wo-man, because "wo" does not exist in English (as far as I know). "Wo are you" is not correct; it should be: "Please reveal your identity" (lesson 89).

There are several forms of womans. Instead of womans we use the word "women" because it is shorter and English speaking people prefer the "e" above the "a". (For example: "beer" is good but "baar" is nothing; "bear" is dangerous).

Classification of women ("womans"):

• Laughing Woman: a happy woman
• Fire Woman: very hot woman
• Potato Woman: likes chips and French fries
• Peacock Woman: is in love with herself
• Carot Woman: fond of carots
• Spider Woman: kills men after wedding them
• Big Red Ridinghood: mother of Little Red Ridinghood
• Flipper Woman: fish lover, the bigger the better
• Laptop Woman: hates fixed connections, wants to be free
• Wonder Woman: this is a MAN (lesson ONE, remember?)

Love Each Other, I love you, kisses, Joey.

Several of you (mostly men ) have asked me to teach you English. I have never been a top-hit at school but my spelling checker is very good, so, why not?

Today I would like to start with lesson One: the word MAN.

There are many forms of the word man (see my photo gallery):

• Old Man: a man being 100 years or older
• Invisible Man:  a man moving very, very fast
• Ice Man: a man selling ice
• Iron Man: a man attracted by magnets
• Kneeling Man: a man with bad shoe laces
• Leopard Man: a man loving paint
• Business Man: a man who prefers to be in an office
• Spider Man: a man who likes the web
• He-Man: alias of Arnold S.
• Lizard Man: a man who likes to eat ants

Gentlemen, please study this lesson over and over again. Tomorrow, lesson two: WOMAN.

Love you all Dear ladies, Kisses from Joey.

 

Dear Loved Ones. I think, I have never told you told before that my wife and I were very good dancers. Passionate dancers, even. We danced every Friday evening and won many prices in dancing contests.

Although we are not too young anymore, we still know how to dance the Tango or PassaDoble.

Now Christmas is coming, I inspected my wardrobe and also found my dancing clothes, not used for many years.

I love dancing; I will surprise my wife and invite her to come with me to the Eureka Christmas Dancing Event 2006. We even might win some of the smaller prices. Please wish me luck.

Love you All, Kisses , Joey.

No kidding today. Several of you told me about the difficulties you encounter in daily life. Real problems and real difficult situations. Not something you can solve in a blog.

I know from experience that life can be hard and even cruel. What can you do about this? I do not know, although I am older than 80 years, the only stupid thing I can imagine now is: Love your loved ones and try to be happy. Smile against evil and dead; these are weapons they do not understand. Yes, it is very difficult but not impossible.

Please have a look at my new photo gallery; most likely you have to smile ! If I succeeded for only one of you, I have reached my goal for today.

Love you all, Kisses , Joey.

PS: special thanks to  http://www.bentbay.dk where I found the published pictures.