Hi, I am Bob, the neighbor of the Daltons and a famous computer expert. I run my own Computer Support Center ("Bob Norton"); Joey put my email address on his space some weeks ago and many people have asked my advice since then.

I am also a lover of computer games. Today I would like to present to you a simple game but one of my favorites.

The game is a standard part of Window, I called it "Hunt for the Red Crosses". You need a PC with Window and a mouse, that's all.

Turn on the PC (look for a big switch and try to move it). Once you hear a click, you will see a lot of moving things and may hear some strange sounds; this is normal (trust me).

When nothing moves anymore and you hear nothing, you can start playing.

Move the mouse (not too fast!) and watch the little arrow on the screen move too. OK, now, look for little pictures and
** attention ** press a mouse button. If nothing happens, try another button or try to click several times very fast.

See what happens? Yes, another big picture will open. Now ... try to find the little red crosses. They are often hidden very cleverly. Click on all kind of places until you have found the little fellow.

Found one? Click on it with your mouse (arrow) and you have won a point! Now you can start allover or try to find other hidden red crosses.

That's not all; Window is tracking the time you need to find the crosses; a little stopwatch is visible in the right corner at the bottom of the screen. Keep calm!

Here is a demo of what I have explained above (the man moving the mouse is a professional player ** me**). Enjoy!
Bob

Dear Ladies, according to Dr Shrimp (my psychiater), I am paranoid (I didn't know this word; at first I thought that he said "polaroid" ?!?). I have looked at Internet what "paranoid" means.

When you are paranoid, you see lunatics in every corner and they are hunting for you.

I don't know. It is a fact that I was kidnapped by, let's say, not very human beings.

It is a fact that my body is completely mirrored, since I returned to Earth. I have proof (see my old pictures).

Yes, I see weirdos in many places, but don't you?

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Besides, there is something strange about this Shrimp; he pronounces the "s"-es with a nasty sharp voice, drinks his coffee with a straw and chuckles about things that are not funny. I need to do some research about this fellow too.

Thank God, you are here. Kisses, Joey.

Dear Friends, the weekend is over, Willie has left and in our house it is extremely silent. We had such a wonderful weekend; many family members, friends and neighbors had come to see Willie again after such a long time and to join the party we had organized.

My wife stole the show by performing an old eastern dance.

The children had a lot of fun too, running inside and outside the house, dancing on the music and going to bed much too late.

Only Doggie had a difficult time; so many faces, so much noise. At this moment he is sleeping and snoring like an old T-Ford.

Hope you are OK, kisses, Joey.

Dear Ladies, I haven't felt so relaxed as I have felt today.
Willie is talking and talking and seems to remember everything from our youth.

He even brought me old pictures of my Lady and her Mother. I had forgotten that Willie was my witness at my wedding, so many, many years ago.

I wonder how my mother in law (Azhaar Buthayna) is doing, in that far and exotic country. I have never been there but have dreamt about it many times.

 

Look what a beautiful woman I have married: My Mrs D. Remind me to tell you how I met her on the luckiest day of my life.

Willie also joked about a Wild-West Show in 1962 where my brothers and I participated. We did not win any prices but Jack had real bad luck with wild horse riding; people still tease him with what happened then .

Love you all, Kisses, Joey.

Dear Friends, greetings from Willie and kisses from me. Everyone is excited because Willie is here. He arrived in a black limo around noon and the whole family welcomed him.

Until one hour ago we have been talking, laughing and refreshing old memories. Willie brought me some old pictures I have never seen before.

Above you see me (so young!) with my favorite old school teacher, Madame Crayon. I believe she was French.

On this picture you see me (the handsome one) with Bennie (the one with the big nose) when we were on a three day fishing holidays. Bennie lost his false teeth in the river and could only drink the beer and whisky that we brought with us.

Willie also told me about the people trying to imitate me and my brothers. I am flattered but the performances are pathetic.
Study, friends, study!

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Love you all, kisses, Joey.

PS:Do you remember what I asked Willie to bring me yesterday? He brought me a wooden sword ... (sigh).
His excuse: I forgot to use my reading glasses.

Dear Lady Friends, at last some news from me (Joey ... Joey Dalton, I hope you remember me  ??).

I have crawled out-off a dark and spooky hole. Thanks to the magic pills of Guppy and the sessions with my new "mental coach" Dr Shrimp (school friend of Guppy) I feel stronger and stronger.

I still wear my knight plate armor but without my helmet! Eating and drinking is going much better now; I feel that I am on the right track again.

I am extra happy today because I received a message from nephew Willie who told us that he is coming to visit us. What a man, he is so worried about me that he even interrupted his successful tour through the States.

Kisses from Joey.

PS: Willie, if you read this, please bring me a Kill-Bill sword (recommended by Ping) and/or a big wooden hammer (recommended by Bob). Thanks, buddy !

Dear friends, I did not expect so many telephone calls and emails from you about my Harry Potter story yesterday. Joey once told me that many of you are not English speaking. So, today I would like to publish the Harry news again for our Chinese and Spanish speaking friends ! I am not an expert so, excuses for any mistakes, I will do what I can. Here I go.

突发新闻:哈利波特秘密结婚!

你好亲爱的朋友们,波赫勒尔这里.今天我不得不用容祖儿的空间,因为我听到一个很可靠的消息来源,扣人心弦: 哈利波特:今日已结婚

秘密婚礼一直很好;记者没有应邀.亨利是唯一一名学校朋友的照片,并允许作嘉宾访谈.

我的秘密消息在担任侍应在党和她先后取得了一些珍贵的照片与她用它和投掷它出走mcdonaldson相机.

我真恨不得已经有过. 这是它今天,如果你有有趣的消息,你知道我所有的耳朵.
再见,糖.
Cathrine. 波赫勒尔.

 Romper noticias: ¡Harry Potter casado secretamente!

Hola estimados amigos, Cathrine aquí. Tuve que utilizar hoy el espacio de Joey porque oí noticias que emocionaban de una fuente muy confiable:

… Harry Potter ha casado …

La boda se ha mantenido un secreto muy bien; no se invitó ninguna prensa. Se permitió a solamente un amigo de la escuela de Harry hacer cuadros y entrevistarse con a las huéspedes.

Mi fuente secreta trabajaba mientras que una camarera en el partido y ella tuvieron éxito en la fabricación algunos cuadros priceless con ella de utilizar-él-y-lanzar-él-lejos cámara fotográfica de McDonaldson.

Cómo deseo habría podido estar allí también.
Eso era él para hoy, si tienes noticias interesantes, tú sabe que soy todos los oídos.
Adiós ahora, Sweeties.

Cathrine.

Hello Dear Friends, Cathrine here. Today I had to use Joey's Space because I heard thrilling news from a very reliable source:

... Harry Potter has Married Today...

The wedding has been kept a secret very well; no press was invited. Only one school friend of Harry was allowed to make pictures and to interview the guests.

My secret source was working as a waitress at the party and she succeeded in making some priceless pictures with her use-it-and-throw-it-away McDonaldson camera.

The Wedding Rings	Yummie!
Comic Family Act	Merry Music
The Happy Couple	Speech by the Head Master
What A Party!	Gifts for the Guests

 
How I wish I could have been there too.
That was it for today, if you have interesting news, you know I am all ears.

Bye now, Sweeties.
Cathrine. 

Dear Friends, I am Mrs D.

I have asked Joey if I could use his space today to thank you for the many, many reactions I received after my post of January 16 ("Orange is HOT"). Some made me blush , I have to admit you. I would like to give a personal message to a few of you.

Hello Norma, you are looking fine. Still married with Arthur II? Please visit me if you are in the neighborhood.

John, orange is hot but you look ridiculous. Buy another suit at once!

George, nice dress but I prefer man wearing men clothes. You need to do more sporting and stop smoking.

Leo, darling, you look lovely but I am allergic for cats. I am Sorry, dear.

Bill, thank you for the many compliments and your nice poems and the music and video tapes and the dried roses but I already am married with Joey and I hope to stay married with him for a long time. Did you try meeting nice ladies on the Internet?
(TIP: don't use this picture any more, love).

Darlings, hope you are doing well.
Kisses from Mrs D.

Dear Friends, yesterday I told you about Doggie and our Mailman.
Once upon a time, in good old times, when the word "piercing" meant a terrible accident, there was a mailman, called Ephraim. This friendly man brought our post every day and we exchanged gossips and drank one or two Jim Beans every day.

When Ephraim won the lottery, we welcomed John Boy. Also a very nice fellow, who left his family after being married for six weeks.

After John, Donald appeared. Well, Donald made a terrible mistake: he tried to frighten our Doggie when he was sleeping.

From that moment on, Donald has been in real danger when he comes to our house. I was told that he has followed several courses how to deal with hostile dogs, but without much success.

You will understand that Donald is not very happy with the large amount of fan-mail I receive every day. His last try to avoid Doggie is to bring the post in an armed car. Poor fellow.

I hope you are all healthy and happy.
Kisses from Joey.

Dear Friends, I received an e-mail from Miranda who asks me why I torture my dog. I had to read this sentence several times before I understood.

Yes, I have trained Doggie to guard the house and to protect the family. Yes, Doggie wears army clothes and light artillery.

Yes, Doggie is licensed to inflict considerable pain to burglars and uninvited guest. But, Doggie is a sweet doggie for all other people (except the mail man, but that is another story).

I love this fellow and would never hurt him in any way. Doggie is part of the Dalton family, don't let there be any misunderstanding about that.

Kisses from Joey.

Lovely Ladies, how are you doing? May I ask you another favor? Today I received an envelope containing five pictures and a little note. The note says: "Behold the last quarter of Alpha-10 !".

I studied the pictures till my head almost exploded but I do not get it. What is the secret message??

Do you see a relation between them and the text? I would be grateful forever if you could give me any hint.

Love you all, Joey.

Dear Ladies, dear girl friends. Today I heard some alarming news.  I drove to the village centre (yes, in full armor, you never know!) to do some critical shopping. On my way I met the daughter of Bob, Sally, asking for a hitchhike.

While driving, she told me 1001 things. What I remember most is that sweet Coco Cabrioletta, the niece of Father Sombrero is very, very **ANGRY** at me because I published a picture showing her together with her uncle.

Sally told me that this Coco is raising an army of girl friends who also are mad at me (why???).

 

What do you recommend me to do? My mind is spinning because of all these threats I have to anticipate. I need sleep and rest but that is not possible as long as my family is in danger.

Please advice me what to do!

Love you all, Sweet, Friendly and Beautiful Friends.
Kisses, Joey

Dear Ladies, I am Mrs D. (Joey's wife). Joey has asked me to kiss you and to tell you he is alright but not able to write a post today.

"To be honest to you, he is sitting the whole day in full army armor in our living room, spying through the windows and whispering things I do not understand. I am really concerned about him. According to Doctor Guppy this is a normal reaction to his recent kidnapping by aliens. The good news is that Joey seems to like the pills Guppy has given him".

So, today I would like to take away your concern a little bit and show you the fashion line for coming summer. The magic word is "orange".

As long as it is orange, you are hot (or cool, whatever you prefer).

The orange line is not only for women but also for modern men.

I will have a look at Joey now; kisses
Mrs D.

Dear Loved Ones, I am back again. I am still dizzy of these purple pills of Guppy (it feels like being drunk, very pleasant   ).

Wilma advised me to have a talk with Father Alfredo Sombrero, a new priest in Eureka. I did follow her advice and had a good conversation with him.

I had a still better meeting with his niece (... ?huh? ....) Coco Cabrioletta (from Sweden)

Coco advised me not to worry and to trust the methods of our forefathers. So I did.

I am fully prepared now for people trying to cut-off my head.
Let them come, I am ready and doggie too.

Love you all, you know that; I have to go now to inspect my house and to protect my family.

Kisses, Joey.

Hello Ladies, I am Cathrine (without an 'e'). I am the sister-in-law of Joey, engaged with Jack Dalton. Joey is at this moment drugged by a special pill of Doctor Guppy; he had a terrible nightmare (his wife told me) about people wanting to cut off his head. Last night, he woke up in panic, shouting "MY HEAD!, MY HEAD!!" and fled out-off his house in his pajamas. The poor man.

Well, at last, I can use this PC and do whatever I always wanted to do; for example:   Wonderful !!

Do you know what I like most? ... gossip ... not mean gossip but interesting, decent gossip; things everyone should know about.

For example, did you know that:

• Dear brother-in-law William has a secret girl-friend? A strange woman, called "Lola"; I do not like her at all; poor Wilma (although she should use more make-up);
  
• Mrs D. is secretly smoking in the barn?
  
  
  
• Joey (yes, your friend Joey!) is absolutely thrilled about Hi-Tech thingies??
  
  
  
  
• House-friend Ping adores women shoes; he has a secret private collection, as I am told by a reliable girl friend ("I won't tell it was you, Betsy!")
  
  
  
• Neighbor Bob is a real weirdo; one of my girl friends ("I won't tell it was you, Betsy!") has spotted him in a strange outfit, running around his house, making strange noises, chased by an unidentified female ( 6 feet high, brunette, about 76 years old, mexican accent, shouting "Ariba, Ariba !!")
  
  

Now, I trust that you will not tell these secrets to other folks; that would not be decent. I stop for today; my friend Jack is awake (since two days, I believe, and he wants me to tell something).

Kisses from Cathrine (without the 'e')

Dear Ladies, I feel miserable and broken. Tonight I had a terrible nightmare, I even hit my wife when I started fighting the demons in my sleep.

I dreamt about fishnets, fishnets and more fishnets. I was stuck in them and could not move.

I dreamt about aggressive macho's trying to influence me with violence and to frighten me with their madness.

I also found a piece of cloth in my kitchen; it has a logo on it saying "CHUSMA teatro". Why?? What does it Mean??

My brothers try to calm me a little bit but without much success. This afternoon an old beggar came to our house to ask for ... I don't know what ... and I shot him in his ass, the poor fellow; he even thanked me before he crawled away.

I need a long vacation or a pot with valium.

Hope you feel better than I do.
Kisses, Joey.

Dear friends, I received valuable information from you about these strange fellows sneaking around my house. I have studied this information carefully and done some extra research today on my computer.

According to me, there are three possibilities:

(1) I am being watched by the KGB
Very likely because I found a strange badge outside my house and I keep smelling alcohol.

 



(2) The CHUSMA is after me
Agents of CHUSMA are trained to peep through key holes, to kidnap people (...)  and wear black leather and sun glasses.
I vaguely remember A lady in black during my kidnapping ....

(3) I am on the list of the FISHNET gang
Now, personally, I prefer this scenario because agents of FISHNET are always women wearing .... fishnets ... attracted by handsome, elderly men, preferably musical men, playing guitar or piano (guitar is best).

 



Keep sending me tips because I need to find the truth; until then I keep feeling me threatened.

Love to you all and many kisses, Joey.

Am I becoming paranoid? Lovely ladies, how are you doing? Allow me to ask your female advice: do I see ghosts or am I right??

When I left my house this morning to get my post, I stumbled over a man, sleeping on my porch.

He offered his apologizes, bowed several times and left my house.

Next, another guy was walking around my house. I don't know him and, to be honest, I do not trust him. Why is he sneaking around my house??

Later today, a man ringed my front door bell and asked if he could use my bathroom (he needed to pee). Why? I live outside the village and he can pee wherever he likes ...

When I went to the village, another fellow kept staring at me; believe me or not, he seemed to speak into a secretly hidden microphone.


Am I hallucinating? What do you think?
Love You, Joey.

Hello Darlings, are you desperate? One of my favorite TV series is "desperate housewives". At this moment we are in its third season and it still gets better and better.

 

The story is about the lives of neighbors Susanne, Lynne, Gabrielle, Bree, Edie and their family, friends and husbands.


 

The humor is perfect and the ladies play their roles wonderfully.

What I like in the main characters is:

Bree : her goal to be perfect in every aspect;
 

Susanne: her sensuality and her clumsiness;

 

Lynne: her courage and her strive to be fair and honest;

 

Gabrielle: her looks and her mean tricks; 

Edie: her looks and her openness;

I can really recommend this series to you.
Kisses, Joey.